Laura Greggain
Before Thanksgiving 2008, Laura Greggain, a long-time supporter of BCAM, was asked to write something on the topic of “gratitude” to present to the congregation of the Unitarian Church of Montreal. This is what she wrote:
In April 2007, the black dragon of breast cancer swooped into my life and held me prisoner in her talons. That dragon caught 460 other Canadian women the same week that I was diagnosed. None of us was grateful for the fear and anxiety that took up permanent residence in our lives.
I had a partial mastectomy at the end of April and cancer was found in the lymph nodes. I started chemotherapy in June and finished in late September. I began radiation in December and finished in late January 2008.
It took me months to recover from the “cures” I was subjected to. I started back to my teaching job in September 2008. I still tire easily and I am battling with an intractable case of lymphedema, a consequence of having the lymph nodes removed in the original cancer surgery.
So why, you are asking yourself, did our minister ask this woman to speak today on the topic of gratitude? Surely she is among the most unfortunate. In our culture, that would imply that there is little to be grateful for.
I will be perfectly frank with you: There have been many days when I did not feel grateful. Not for salary insurance or Medicare, certainly not for the ravages of treatments meant to cure. On my darkest days not even for the possibility of being cured.
And yet and yet, dark as these days were, my family, my friends, and the wonderful people of this community never, never let me forget that I was cared about, that I was important to you, that I was loved. At first I received a card or a phone call almost every day. Later I received a note or a call nearly every week. Did you know that being part of a religious community increases your life span by eight years? That sounds pretty good when someone has just told you you have cancer.
As my darkest days began to be fewer and further apart, occasionally the dragon took me flying. High above the mundane concerns of doctor appointments and the side effects of medicine, I could see the forest instead of the trees. On the dragon’s back, away from her fiery breath and imprisoning claws, I could see my life. From up there, I am grateful, grateful for Medicare, for salary insurance, for doctors — even those who keep you waiting for hours. I am grateful for my massage therapist, my acupuncturist, my naturopath, my osteopath, my Qui-gong teacher and my therapist who continues to put things in perspective for me. Being sick is hard work!
I am grateful for a chance to see how much the family I love would sacrifice for me. My brothers supported me. My son showed a maturity and strength well beyond his years. My mom and dad got one more chance to parent me before, god forbid, the roles are reversed. My beloved husband showed me once again why he is worth keeping around. I got another chance to let people love me — something that has not always been easy for me to do.
And you, the people of this blessed community, who fed me literally and figuratively … Well, let me paraphrase:
Yes, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For you are with me;
You comfort me.
You give me the strength to go on in the face of great struggles.
You treat me with kindness and love and my cup runneth over … with gratitude.